Those of you who know me well or have been reading my blog for very long know that the adjustment to two children has been big for me. I *adore* Taylor and would never go back. But I loved my life with one child. I loved life with Lily. She and I were buddies and did everything together. And it was easier.
Last night she and I went on a little date and it was wonderful. I took her to swimming lessons and then we ran an errand and had a Subway supper together. It. Was. Delightful. It was so nice to just be with my girl and be able to give her my undivided attention. I miss that.
There are days that I feel really annoyed. Don't get me wrong - I love being a mom. This is what I always wanted to do. And I LOVE my children! They are both so amazing and have blessed my life in so many ways! I'm so thankful for them and the unique little people that they are.
And they are so much work.
Some days I feel like I'm cleaning up a spill or a mess every five minutes. Some days I would just like the house to stay clean for 24 hours. Some days I don't want to change another poopy diaper. Some days I don't want to read that book for the 9th time. Some days I don't want to answer any more questions. Some days I don't want to teach my kids to be kind to each other. Some days I don't want to clean up the kitchen after lunch. Some days I don't want to wash clothes. Some days I don't want to be mature. Some days I lose my temper. Some days I'd like to run errands by myself. Some days I'd like to read a grown-up book from cover to cover.
Poor me, right? HOW SELFISH AM I?!?! Ugh!
And then I feel annoyed with myself for being such a brat. Why can't I just grow up? Why can't I just appreciate how good my life is and KNOCK OFF THE ATTITUDE? Why can't I just be the mom my kids deserve?
And now here we are preparing for another child to join our family. This is not a joke! She's coming. And I don't think the odds are good that I'm going to have my attitude entirely adjusted by May.
4 comments:
hang in there! this will be done before we know it, look your baby boy is already a year and a half! being a mom is the toughest job there is! and we just dont always get the feedback we need, so i will give you your today: you are doing a great job dawn! you are very ambitious and successful, you make it look easy, and always look cute too! have a good day mommy!
Oh girl! I think all of us mommies feel the same way you do and if there is a mom that says she doesn't I think she'd be lying!
I don't think we give ourself credit where credit is due! It's very hard being a mom and tending to there every need. Even giving it my very best at the end of the day I still feel like I've failed them. Like I didn't read to them enough, or spend enough time with them, or my temper could of been better and sometimes I just don't want to either! I feel you 100%.
It's someting I struggle with every day!!
You definately inspire me! =)
If you figure this out (the attitude adjustment) would you let me in on the secret? I've been trying, but my successes feel minimal...
If the books you're reading help at all, can I borrow them when you're done? ")
Love you!
~k
Remember that you are doing an amazing job as a mom and you are human at the same time! Here's a hug from me! ((hug)) Love you and it's ok to get frustrated... your children will not need therapy from your off days!
You also don't want your children to think you are perfect because you don't want them to feel like they are expected to be perfect all of the time either. We had a sermon on this last Sunday... it was about being real with your children and not putting on a perfect front. They need to realize it's ok to make mistakes and learn what to do when a mistake has been made!
Love you and you are an amazing woman! Look at the wonderful children you have! They are a living example of the wonderful job that you are doing!
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